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Leading by Design Can you model authentic calm when dealing with anxiety yourself?

Hey Reader,

Have you had one of those moments recently where the chaos of worklife, pressures from your team, boss, partners and oh yeah, your life-life all pile up? Yeah, me too.

What do you do TODAY?

So when you are leading through the inferno of this weird time, how will you show up and mitigate unfair future consequences? It's an unfair question, but one I want to put out there. As Leaders our energy sets a tone for our team. As all of our nervous systems are on high alert (how could they not be?), we need to be even more attune to what our own bodies need, and ensure we are self-regulating before spreading any dysregulation.

It is SO TOUGH to model calm in the storm right now. Especially when our authentic selves are also not exactly CALM. Don't let me project on you now, let me know if you are 100% well so I can celebrate you.

What works for your to regulate and come down from that fight-fright-freeze response?

• Exercise and moving the stress through your body
• Down-regulating your system with specific kinds of Yoga
• Meditation or breath-work
• Co-regulating with a friend or significant human
• Sitting rocking your child at night
• Playing games

Try to notice this week if you feel that lizard brain of yours reacting, and consider – what do I need to recover from this in my actual body?

We talk about this in the Design Leadership Accelerator and it is one of the most surprising modules for folks. And it's one of the things I see get in the way of designers rising to their ambitions. Especially women and/or people of color.

Let's be real

The expectations of poise under pressure increase as you rise as a leader in any profession. I would argue a couple things if needed:

1. Woman walk a tightrope here of what "emotionality" is allowed at the workplace without social and very real consequences, whereas White Men may show emotions like anger and be excused as "passionate".
2. I think Design Folks are walking a tightrope too of navigating the "prove your value", influence partners to be heard, and also build empathy for users when a focus on in-quarter revenue drivers likely conflict.

I've been inspired (or enraged depending on the day) by two fellow Design Leaders writings on these topics, which I'll link below. This is NOT a new topic, it's just been really named by design folks and brought out into the open more. People are speaking their truths and I am SO grateful to them.

So. Can we model authentic calm? Maybe, but we have to ensure we're putting our own oxygen masks on first ya'll. Let me know if I can support you in this through Coaching (I have a couple spots open for Spring!). Just reply and we'll have a chat about how to get started.

Alison

Curator & Community Coach Alison Gretz, ACC Executive Coach, future of work & Leadership Development thought leader, Mum to 2 small humans, prior leader to teams of hundreds.

References

Things that inspire my thoughts on this:

1. The Body Keeps the Score by Nedra Glover Tawwab.
2. How 20m a week devoted to culture improves team mental health: Listen here to Morra Aarons-Mele's Anxious Achiever podcast 🎧
3. "Hey Designers, they're gaslighting you" by Sara Wachter-Boettcher: link here.
4. Katrina Alcorn (former IBM Head of Design)'s recent piece "Designing Women: How outdated ideas about femininity hurt design leaders of all genders and stifle business innovation" link here​

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